Desperate Unhousewife?

The clothes on my floor have returned to their respective homes in my closet and drawers. *nod*

I came home from work today (via letting a friend's dog out for a friend... I get roped into that a lot, lol) to find my frail grandmother's hands covered in her own excrement. Papaw was asleep in his chair (per usual) and I heard her moaning a little in the baby monitor he has sitting next to his semi-permanent sitting place. I went back to their room to check on her, and there she was. I went to get some baby wipes to begin the cleanup process and to wake my mom up to let her know.

My mom works the evening shift at the North Harbor Pavilion, the psychiatric units of one of our local hospitals, affectionately called "The Harbor." Within the past month or two she and her co-workers have had to clean up some of the patients' excrement (on several different occasions) because they'd decided to play in it. (If mom had a blog, it'd be titled Fun With Feces... And Other $#!^.)

I wish this had been the case with my grandmother. I could handle the weakness and senility if she were at least enjoying herself.

I'm here to tell you, she's not.

She's in pain (yay cancer and it's @#%&! treatment), but she doesn't want to be a nuisance to anybody and simply refuses to ask for help when she needs it (which ends up causing much more trouble than there would have been had she simply "bothered" us in the first place).
3 years ago she would have refused because she's stubborn and independent.
Now I think it's mostly because she's confused.

I try for the most part to keep my home life separate from, well, anything that happens outside of home. It helps to keep me peppy and optimistic most of the time, but sometimes it just bleeds through...

"Stop pretending everything's all right..." Thank you, Serena... (Playing on my iTunes as I type)

Anywho, I just wanted to take a break to relieve a little bit of this before I return to picking up the house. Dishes piled up in the sink, more laundry to do, and alllllllll kinds of clutter for which I have to find appropriate places to put it.

Today one of my red groupers (kindergarten age) at day camp said, "Miss Kate, looking at you makes me tired."

I really wanted to say, "Imagine what it's like actually being me, sweetie!" Haha! One thing I will always love and that will always pick me up is working with kids.

I don't even have a boyfriend and I can totally sympathize with a desperate housewife.

Granted, I'm feeling a little whiney, but I think I'm right in saying, "That's just not fair."

P.S. The reason I don't have a boyfriend and why I will probably remain a career-driven spinster is because my grandfather has ruined me for all men.

For my grandmother's sake, I'm so glad he did.

Thoughts Driving Home (Blogging myself to sleep)

This is the sweetest baby there ever was. She has my whole heart.


•I am the walrus.
Not in the groovy-hippie-chic-John-Lennon kind of way, but in the I-feel-bloaty-and-whiskery-with-bad-teeth-kind-of-way. (Not looking for any comments. One, because I realize I look nothing like a walrus, and two [and more to the point], because nobody reads this.)

•Successfully wore white pants (for the first time ever?) for a majority of the day without spilling anything on them.

•So tired I feel buzzy. Today was the first day of Summer Day Camp. I was essentially there for 10 hours, but today went SO well. Possibly because it went by so quickly that there was no time for anything to go majorly wrong.
Undecided if I want life to be like that, but definitely decided that it goes by so quickly AND there still seems to be plenty of time for things to go wrong.

•Half of my closest is currently in a heap on the floor because I have not had the gumption to put the them away for... o, a month, give or take. I fold them on my bed with every intent of putting them away, sleeping on the couch to avoid the aforementioned heap, but ultimately shove them off my bed when have not followed through with my intentions and I want access to my bed (dammit). It's an ugly truth, but the truth nonetheless.

They're all clean, I'll have you know.

•It was my grandmother's 71st birthday today, and I didn't get to wish her a happy birthday. I had to leave my card on her bed as she slept about ten minutes ago.

•I am determined to get to the 'dad-gum' gym this week. No matter how many more interruptions life throws my way, it's gonna happen.

•If you are between the ages of 6 and 70, I clearly don't have a whole lot of patience for your needy schticks.

•Pretty sure I left Never-Never Land indefinitely yesterday. Not infinitely, but indefinitely.

•Found a way to relate Miss Evangeline Travers to my current state of affairs without involving men: We are both in a transitional period-- on the edge of a grand adventure, and graciously (if not gracefully...) walking through any doors of opportunity that open themselves before... ourselves...

•Currently preferring blogs to romance novels because, as far as I know, they're real.

Now, if I can just slip off to Dream Land, perhaps, with visions of my own Marlboro Man in my head...

Note(s) to self

Take time to be silly.

http://www.hauntingart.com/Haunting_Art/Gallery.html#19 (For Richard)

Etsy is amazing.

I ♥ my best friends. (This isn't really a note to myself as it is a declaration that simply had to be made.)

No profound thoughts today. That's what happens when I get a healthy dose of vitamin D and sunshine on my shoulders.

♪♫

Dear the Names Kate + Katie

Dear the Names Kate + Katie

This made me happy.

I got back from NOLA yesterday. I definitely should have posted during my stay there. I should post about it now, but I'm preoccupied at the moment. Maybe later.

Maybe...

The Sage?

–noun

1.

a profoundly wise person; a person famed for wisdom.

2.

someone venerated for the possession of wisdom, judgment, and experience.

–adjective

3.

wise, judicious, or prudent: sage advice.

Dictionary.com

n. One venerated for experience, judgment, and wisdom.
adj. sag·er, sag·est

1. Having or exhibiting wisdom and calm judgment.

2. Proceeding from or marked by wisdom and calm judgment: sage advice.

3. Archaic Serious; solemn.

American Heritage Dictionary


For a while I was known as, or at least I considered myself as, a wise person. I think the second set of definitions from the American Heritage Dictionary is fairly fitting of my personality.
When it comes to other people's lives, a good bit of the time I know what to say, and a good bit of that time it's the right thing to say. Then there was a period of time when I felt like I'd lost my wise touch. Recently, I've been feeling like I'm getting it back (I'd been praying for it), but now I'm not so sure I want it. (They mean it-- be careful what you wish for...)

I realize that any wisdom I have is a gift from God, and I think that the logical, flowery words are the bow, and maybe a predisposition to thinking too much and over-analyzing are hidden within the package.

Right now I have the potential to be placed in an awkward situation, and if the need arises, I am going to have to nip said situation in the bud.

I just wish guys were smarter...

"Dating," and all of the cultural expectations entailed, is a learned behavior (well, more like a series of learned behaviors...).

Yes, all of the socially acceptable behaviors within a dating relationship are learned, not innate. Some people's dispositions give them a little bit of a leg-up, but all degrees of commitment and the actions that speak thereof are skills that one must acquire and practice.

I was a music major. I know about practice.

I was an education major. I know about practice.

It's basic psychology, guys (and I don't mean "y'all." I mean literal, male guys).

If you want to have a steady, exclusive relationship, you have to work at it. I don't care how special the girl is, the ability to actually commit to that one girl will not be magically bestowed upon you because she's "the one." (I suppose it's only fair for me to aim this at females, too, but I have a tendency to surround myself with girls who are, well, like me and don't struggle so much in this area.)

You have to make the decision that this is what you want, and then you have to just do it.

When learning a new behavior or a new piece of information, the best way for your brain and your body to do so is through rehearsal. Rehearsal should be consistent; it should happen for a small amount of time everyday. Much like rehearsing a performance, practicing a sport, or studying for a test, if you're serious about learning these skills, you can't wait till the last minute and cram. If you want to someday have that lifelong relationship with one person, you're going to have to start practicing little by little now.

Now, if this is not what you want, then you don't want a relationship in the conventional sense of the word. (Another subject for another blog: semantics.) From what I gather of current terminology, you want to casually date. http://casual-dating.urbanup.com/1942116, the first definition, thank you urbandictionary.com!
Let me start by saying that there is nothing at all wrong with that! To everything there is a season, and sometimes that season includes friendly, casual dating. It becomes wrong when you mislead someone into thinking that you want the other. It's not fair to the other person because deception never is. It's not fair to you because, well, deception never is. Having different, incompatible goals is a subset of being unequally yoked, in my opinion (and it's merely that, opinion). I am in no way saying that Scripture states this specifically. Here's what it does say:

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
~2 Corinthians 6:14, ESV

I pose that having different goals for a relationship is, at the very least, analogous with being unequally yoked, and if you profess to keep to the Bible's teachings, you would agree that God says, "Don't do it."

If you're still trying to figure out your personal goals for a relationship with a person, I think that's the point of casual dating. Casual dating helps you to categorize relationships (in my case, with the opposite sex)--
1) Relationships you can live without,
2) Friendships, and
3) Potential romantic interest/committed relationship.

Once you find out in which category each relationship belongs, then you proceed with the appropriate behavior.

I'm totally babbling and just trying to sort out my own thoughts on the matter, but I genuinely do feel like this makes sense.

Am I the only one?

I would ask if I'm crazy, but we all know the answer to that...

Special “K”

Special “K”
Someone else had been wanting one of these, too!

I have been having too much fun over the past few days, and I am afraid the fun is only going to continue! I think I am going to like being a graduate... (spoken like one suffering from true naivete...) Ü

Limbo Land

Sorry, self (since I am doing this blog for myself), that it's been so long since I've posted, but I have been working hard to finish this race I started five years ago. Yesterday at approximately 3:20 I walked across the stage at Coleman Coliseum to receive my certificate of participation in graduation from the University of Alabama.

I say that I've graduated, but I really won't know that for sure for about ten more days. lol
I do have one of my final grades for this semester posted (A+, eat your heart out). But until then, I will behave as an unemployed college graduate.

That's not completely true. I have a summer job (I need another one or two), and am pretty sure I have options for the fall. It seems like I should be worried (a lot of other people seem to be concerned about it), but I'm not. Maybe I am still coming down from the high I've had over the past four days, but I know that somehow, some way, things are going to work out.

I say that I am in Limbo Land, but I am not just wandering aimlessly. I have three main objectives:
1) Earn and save money.
2) Apply to grad schools.
3) Perform.

And ya know what? I think this may be the most fun I've had living in a while, and I am excited about it!