THAT girl whether or not...

This is my Angel of No Regrets. An old friend gave her to me after I'd told her about my philosophy of no regrets.

I figure everything happens the way it does for a reason.
All of the mistakes I make are the only ways I'm going to learn whatever lesson it is I need to learn from said mistakes. And the things that you've already done can't be undone, so why worry about them? Don't look back.

As for things you haven't done, well, they are still a possibility. They have kinetic energy; they are still a "could be," and a "could be" is infinitely better than a "what if."

Those are the things with which I have the most trouble.

I worry about the future so much more than is healthy. Well, not all the time. I'm mostly pretty good at suppressing those worries by keeping busy. I'm fairly optimistic and can find joy around me.

Yes, even though I'm a little more jaded than I used to be, I'm still pretty much Li'l Mary Sunshine.

But when I'm not that girl, I'm definitely THAT girl.

I'm THAT girl who worries about...

•whether or not she'll ever find somebody who can love her AND want her at the same time.
•whether or not she'll have any immediate family to be at her wedding if/by the time that she does.
•whether or not she'll be young enough to have a child of her own when the time comes.
•leaving her house everyday because her grandfather is left alone with the dogs essentially all day.
•whether or not she'll ever leave this town. Do I really have what it takes?
•whether or not she'll ever get her $#!^ together enough to begin to feel normal again.
•whether or not her car is going to last as long as she needs it to, and if it doesn't, how is she going to go about acquiring another one?

I know, I know...

Matthew 6
²⁶^AR)">(AR) Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.^AS)">(AS) Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his^AT)">(AT) span of life?^g]">[g] ²⁸And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹yet I tell you,^AU)">(AU) even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you,^AV)">(AV) O you of little faith?

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.


But this is what comes of realizing that you're human.


My emotional heart feels the need for Jesus to send a Knight on His behalf to rescue my wounded heart.

I really would like to be held the way I know I deserve to be held.

I also should probably go to bed. I have a date with a T Woolf tomorrow.

Ah, well. Let the tears fall, let the tears fall where they may.


"Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted..."