Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Sage?


–noun
1.
a profoundly wise person; a person famed for wisdom.
2.
someone venerated for the possession of wisdom, judgment, and experience.
–adjective
3.
wise, judicious, or prudent: sage advice.

Dictionary.com

n. One venerated for experience, judgment, and wisdom.
adj. sag·er, sag·est
  1. Having or exhibiting wisdom and calm judgment.

  2. Proceeding from or marked by wisdom and calm judgment: sage advice.

  3. Archaic Serious; solemn.

American Heritage Dictionary


For a while I was known as, or at least I considered myself as, a wise person. I think the second set of definitions from the American Heritage Dictionary is fairly fitting of my personality.
When it comes to other people's lives, a good bit of the time I know what to say, and a good bit of that time it's the right thing to say. Then there was a period of time when I felt like I'd lost my wise touch. Recently, I've been feeling like I'm getting it back (I'd been praying for it), but now I'm not so sure I want it. (They mean it-- be careful what you wish for...)

I realize that any wisdom I have is a gift from God, and I think that the logical, flowery words are the bow, and maybe a predisposition to thinking too much and over-analyzing are hidden within the package.

Right now I have the potential to be placed in an awkward situation, and if the need arises, I am going to have to nip said situation in the bud.

I just wish guys were smarter...

"Dating," and all of the cultural expectations entailed, is a learned behavior (well, more like a series of learned behaviors...).

Yes, all of the socially acceptable behaviors within a dating relationship are learned, not innate. Some people's dispositions give them a little bit of a leg-up, but all degrees of commitment and the actions that speak thereof are skills that one must acquire and practice.

I was a music major. I know about practice.

I was an education major. I know about practice.

It's basic psychology, guys (and I don't mean "y'all." I mean literal, male guys).

If you want to have a steady, exclusive relationship, you have to work at it. I don't care how special the girl is, the ability to actually commit to that one girl will not be magically bestowed upon you because she's "the one." (I suppose it's only fair for me to aim this at females, too, but I have a tendency to surround myself with girls who are, well, like me and don't struggle so much in this area.)

You have to make the decision that this is what you want, and then you have to just do it.

When learning a new behavior or a new piece of information, the best way for your brain and your body to do so is through rehearsal. Rehearsal should be consistent; it should happen for a small amount of time everyday. Much like rehearsing a performance, practicing a sport, or studying for a test, if you're serious about learning these skills, you can't wait till the last minute and cram. If you want to someday have that lifelong relationship with one person, you're going to have to start practicing little by little now.

Now, if this is not what you want, then you don't want a relationship in the conventional sense of the word. (Another subject for another blog: semantics.) From what I gather of current terminology, you want to casually date. http://casual-dating.urbanup.com/1942116, the first definition, thank you urbandictionary.com!
Let me start by saying that there is nothing at all wrong with that! To everything there is a season, and sometimes that season includes friendly, casual dating. It becomes wrong when you mislead someone into thinking that you want the other. It's not fair to the other person because deception never is. It's not fair to you because, well, deception never is. Having different, incompatible goals is a subset of being unequally yoked, in my opinion (and it's merely that, opinion). I am in no way saying that Scripture states this specifically. Here's what it does say:
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
~2 Corinthians 6:14, ESV

I pose that having different goals for a relationship is, at the very least, analogous with being unequally yoked, and if you profess to keep to the Bible's teachings, you would agree that God says, "Don't do it."

If you're still trying to figure out your personal goals for a relationship with a person, I think that's the point of casual dating. Casual dating helps you to categorize relationships (in my case, with the opposite sex)--
1) Relationships you can live without,
2) Friendships, and
3) Potential romantic interest/committed relationship.

Once you find out in which category each relationship belongs, then you proceed with the appropriate behavior.

I'm totally babbling and just trying to sort out my own thoughts on the matter, but I genuinely do feel like this makes sense.

Am I the only one?

I would ask if I'm crazy, but we all know the answer to that...

No comments:

Post a Comment