Today a couple of customers, a guy and a girl, were discussing the girl's premature mid-life crisis and trying to decide the appropriate term for it.
Doesn't matter to me what she calls it. All I know is that I can relate.
I'm pretty sure it's just because I'm tired. And maybe dissatisfied with the current state of my life.
Car's a mess. Bedroom's a mess. I'm a mess. I've been sleeping on the couch for a couple of months now and can't seem to get a spare moment to take care of it.
I reach this point at least once every year: something's gotta give.
*le sigh*
I hope to one day believe that when I agree to do things for people that they are not doing me a favor, but that I, in fact, am doing them a favor.
[Because most of the time, it's actually true.]
It's why I can't stay in Tuscaloosa much longer. I'm established here as a "jack of all trades," and if anybody needs something done, and done fairly well, they can count on me. Trouble is, it's not all what I want to do, and I'm too much of a helper to say "No" most of the time. I can't help helping. I also am too preoccupied with finances. But I may have to give something up after the holidays, depending on my mental state.
I don't want to feel like the way I've felt today ever again.
Sometimes I have to cater to the fairytale heroine that dwells within me and pretend I can't handle a schedule this cramped because a spirit this big needs room to stretch and grow-- not to mention breathe.
Give up whatever you need to. I'll pick up the slack.
ReplyDeleteTake a break. Take a breath.
I love you! And always know that when you feel in the midst of a quarter-life crisis or a crazy day, I feel it too. Like identical twins. With different mothers. And fathers. And who were born years apart.