Permit me voyage...

That is my request, LORD, if I may request anything of You.

I've been listening to the Morten Lauridsen arrangement of this text as sung by the University of Utah Singers (iTunes U is your friend. Go download it for free).

It has been a balm to my soul; "all is healed, all is health."


Sure on this shining night
Of star made shadows round,
Kindness must watch for me
This side the ground.
The late year lies down the north.
All is healed, all is health.
High summer holds the earth.
Hearts all whole.
Sure on this shining night I weep for wonder wand'ring far
alone
Of shadows on the stars.

Notes

The poem comes from a book by James Agee entitled Permit Me Voyage published 1934 by Yale University Press.

"Badgers, badgers, badgers, badgers..."

["Mushroom, MUSHROOM!"]

Do you remember that li'l internet funny?

["Ooooh, it's a snake!"]

I thought of it because I'm eating mom's tuna noodle casserole (YUM), except I pick around the mushrooms.
Today's helping is served with a side of sour cream 'n' onion chips and pink lemonade to drink.

Classy, right?

As I pick around the mushrooms, I think of how many people I love who love mushrooms more than a person should, in my opinion. These are the people to whom, whenever I'm with them, I would normally give my mushrooms (tomatoes, onions, peppers, etc.) so they didn't go to waste. ("Clean your plate" mentality-- a subject for a later blog). My mom and Papaw like them just fine (hence why they are in the casserole), but I know a handful of people who could eat them like candy, and not a one of them is in Tuscaloosa county. So, I definitely can't share with them today.
Well, technically one is at the moment because she works in TC, but she doesn't live here; however, that is neither here nor there.

I'm here and they're there, and THAT is the point.

It's kind of sad, really... Poor mushrooms...

These are the kind of things my mind thinks of at lunch time on a happy Wednesday.

I'll have you know that I shelved like a motha this morning at the B&N- the spatial reasoning was particularly keen today. Then I got to put fixtures (display shelves) together and move games and puzzles and such to their appropriate fixtures (as much as possible, anyway).

And, I know, it's weird, but I love doing stuff like that. It was kind of like a game.

[cue "A Spoonful of Sugar"]

It's safe to say that I adore working there. I know I haven't been there two whole weeks, but the people I work with are great, I love what we sell, and I like helping people, so it's kind of a perfect fit.

And did I mention work stays at the store? I may have before, but it bears repeating: I GET TO LEAVE IT ALL THERE.

Then, on a day like today, I get to come home, eat lunch, and then do basically the same thing in my room. Haha!

But there's a 30% chance that it's raining right now, Heidi is 100% pawing at my hands to comfort her, and I see a 50% chance for a nap in my own forecast.

This is what happens when we get scared by the thunder.

"Don't do sadness"

...in bed.

Mom came into my room today with two fortune cookies in tow. Naturally I took the one that was pointing at me most, and this is what it said. All I needed was the first sentence, but then it reminded me that not only do I have social skills, but also that some people think they need them.

It was a good day for fortune cookies. Mom's was exactly what she needed, too.

The overhaul of my room continues. Some of the loot today included Giga Pets, middle school ID cards, lots of receipts and gum in old purses (I'm finding more similarities between my grandmother and I everyday... lol), a post-break up e-mail from high school, drawings, sermon notes, cards I received from old friends (two that made me Boo. Hoo.), and letters I never sent.

Dear Melancholy,

Please let it be you and not sadness that's visiting me.

Tell Leah thanks for sharing.

♥

katherine elizabeth

Is it a buggy or a cart?

I don't know about you, but I love Amazon.com.

Russian Collection - COSMO - Not Tonight Honey

South Beach Collection - Bronzed To Perfection

Why, O why do I love Amazon.com? Because they let me find things I want as I think of them, add them to my cart, and then save them for later. It's online layaway.
Do you remember those days?

Let's have another look into my cart right now...

This AND the soundtrack.



I also need to add the following Disney DVDs to my cart before this life is over:

The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Peter Pan
Sleeping Beauty
Sword in the Stone
Robin Hood
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
The Great Mouse Detective
The Rescuers & The Rescuers Down Under
Mulan
Fantasia & Fantasia 2000
Alice in Wonderland
So Dear To My Heart
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Pete's Dragon
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Enchanted
DuckTales the Movie
A Goofy Movie
Nightmare Before Christmas
Meet The Robinsons
And ALL of the other Pixar films I don't have.

I think I may also move into buying TV series DVDs via Amazon, since I'm not a baller and don't have Netflix.
Series such as:

The Gilmore Girls
Ally McBeal (Thank you, Mol Page.)
NCIS
Ugly Betty
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Thanks again, Molly.)

O, dear. Now Han Solo is on the television. Must leave you.

Love • Time • Think

According to the application on fb, these are my most used words in recent status updates.

(I'd also like to point out that "Molly" and "Page" were near the top of the list.)

Oddly enough, that's pretty much me in a nutshell...

Note: This post is rather disjointed. Enjoy.

I've acquired another nickname at work: "Red." Ü

Speaking of my hair, I've decided that if I make Secret Garden, I am not going to cut my hair until after the show, and then I'm going to donate it to Locks of Love.

Granted, I didn't go to bed until a little after 4:00, but I didn't get up till 1:05 today, and I'm still in my PJs. Papaw decided we are ordering pizza for dinner (especially since Mom's in NOLA for the weekend).

We're currently watching Because I Said So. Yes, I'm watching it again... This time it's on Lifetime. Papaw is actually watching it and laughing, which lets me know he's been asleep every other time it's been on our TV screen. Haha!

My new, big girl driver's license just came in the mail.

I love Saturdays.

I can't think about this one too much, though. This Saturday, while appearing typical, is not.

However, I'm going to go on with my day and pretend it is.

That is all (for now).

♥

"NO is not a dirty word."

"It's okay to not do it all."

"Never look back. That's where the shadows are."

Dove Promises really can be brilliant sometimes.

I called the Presbyterians this morning and declined the job.

Mark it down, ladies and gents, I said "No."

I know I want to write more regarding this, but I'm sleepy and have to work tomorrow.

It's a good thing. :)

THAT girl whether or not...

This is my Angel of No Regrets. An old friend gave her to me after I'd told her about my philosophy of no regrets.

I figure everything happens the way it does for a reason.
All of the mistakes I make are the only ways I'm going to learn whatever lesson it is I need to learn from said mistakes. And the things that you've already done can't be undone, so why worry about them? Don't look back.

As for things you haven't done, well, they are still a possibility. They have kinetic energy; they are still a "could be," and a "could be" is infinitely better than a "what if."

Those are the things with which I have the most trouble.

I worry about the future so much more than is healthy. Well, not all the time. I'm mostly pretty good at suppressing those worries by keeping busy. I'm fairly optimistic and can find joy around me.

Yes, even though I'm a little more jaded than I used to be, I'm still pretty much Li'l Mary Sunshine.

But when I'm not that girl, I'm definitely THAT girl.

I'm THAT girl who worries about...

•whether or not she'll ever find somebody who can love her AND want her at the same time.
•whether or not she'll have any immediate family to be at her wedding if/by the time that she does.
•whether or not she'll be young enough to have a child of her own when the time comes.
•leaving her house everyday because her grandfather is left alone with the dogs essentially all day.
•whether or not she'll ever leave this town. Do I really have what it takes?
•whether or not she'll ever get her $#!^ together enough to begin to feel normal again.
•whether or not her car is going to last as long as she needs it to, and if it doesn't, how is she going to go about acquiring another one?

I know, I know...

Matthew 6
²⁶^AR)">(AR) Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.^AS)">(AS) Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his^AT)">(AT) span of life?^g]">[g] ²⁸And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹yet I tell you,^AU)">(AU) even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you,^AV)">(AV) O you of little faith?

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.


But this is what comes of realizing that you're human.


My emotional heart feels the need for Jesus to send a Knight on His behalf to rescue my wounded heart.

I really would like to be held the way I know I deserve to be held.

I also should probably go to bed. I have a date with a T Woolf tomorrow.

Ah, well. Let the tears fall, let the tears fall where they may.


"Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted..."