Subtitle: Bold
Per usual, this post is a bumpy, disjointed ride. Hold on.
I slept approximately 12 hours last night, after a succession of sleeping for about 10 hours per night (with the exception of Thursday night, which I got between 4 and 5). I know my body is trying to play catch-up for the past, say, 3 years, so I'm trying to not feel badly about it, but I kinda do. I had plans for the extra 4 hours I got this morning. Ah, well.
I've been juggling schedules, trying to get back on track with grad school applications, and trying to remember (in general; to be a child of the light; to take care of myself; to move forward... too many things to think on, apparently). I just can't seem to get a grasp on my routine yet. I'm not used to this much variety in my life, I guess. It's what happens after becoming a slave to your schedule. Now that I feel more like the "master of my own destiny," I don't know exactly what to do. Good thing I'm not really the master of my own destiny. I'd be in Trouuuuuuuuuble.
But I kind of am in trouble. I am having a difficult time stepping up and proactively seeking my destiny, and seeking what my Master has to say. It's partially because I'm afraid of what I'll hear. It's partially because I'm tired and am not diligent about using my time wisely, as I used to be.
I really want to tie in a thought I had when I was still considering the job with the Presbyterians, and to do so with style and brilliant, fluid, comprehensive writing, but I am running out of time before I have to get ready for work. Maybe I'll come back and take the time to revise this. Until then...
It came to me on the first of August. Our pastor was preaching the last of his sermon series "The Physician's Gospel," which discussed the Gospel of Luke. Something he'd said triggered a thought I had on boldness born out of need. I began looking through my Bible and jotted down some references that I thought demonstrated such boldness, and then I thought about making this a theme for a women's Bible study (that would have been one of my duties had I taken the job). I've always had a heart for music, children, and the women of the church. It was kind of an exciting thought to have a chance to do something with that, but I digress.
The point being that, for me, I think I'll have the boldness to do all of these things I'm having difficulty with once I really understand that it's a need I have that must be met. Whew!
I know I should be writing a poignant post about today being September 11th, but I don't have it in me. United, we stand. To me, that comma is crucial to that statement being true about our nation. I don't know that we necessarily stand united on anything other than we all want what we (as individuals) think is best for our country. And thinking of that makes me sad.
But today, I don't have to think on that because I believe it's safe for me to say that we are united in lifting up those who have suffered so much because of what happened on this day nine years ago. When we remember that we are all people who feel and hurt, that is when we are united at our best. Humanity is the greatest common denominator. We should practice behaving like that is true every day, not just on days forever tarnished by tragedy.
I apologize for writing like a textbook. It's not my intent to insult your intelligence by thinking you don't know which sentences are most important. It's just that I want to communicate to you that I think those sentences are most important. That's all.
Per usual, this post is a bumpy, disjointed ride. Hold on.
I slept approximately 12 hours last night, after a succession of sleeping for about 10 hours per night (with the exception of Thursday night, which I got between 4 and 5). I know my body is trying to play catch-up for the past, say, 3 years, so I'm trying to not feel badly about it, but I kinda do. I had plans for the extra 4 hours I got this morning. Ah, well.
I've been juggling schedules, trying to get back on track with grad school applications, and trying to remember (in general; to be a child of the light; to take care of myself; to move forward... too many things to think on, apparently). I just can't seem to get a grasp on my routine yet. I'm not used to this much variety in my life, I guess. It's what happens after becoming a slave to your schedule. Now that I feel more like the "master of my own destiny," I don't know exactly what to do. Good thing I'm not really the master of my own destiny. I'd be in Trouuuuuuuuuble.
But I kind of am in trouble. I am having a difficult time stepping up and proactively seeking my destiny, and seeking what my Master has to say. It's partially because I'm afraid of what I'll hear. It's partially because I'm tired and am not diligent about using my time wisely, as I used to be.
I really want to tie in a thought I had when I was still considering the job with the Presbyterians, and to do so with style and brilliant, fluid, comprehensive writing, but I am running out of time before I have to get ready for work. Maybe I'll come back and take the time to revise this. Until then...
It came to me on the first of August. Our pastor was preaching the last of his sermon series "The Physician's Gospel," which discussed the Gospel of Luke. Something he'd said triggered a thought I had on boldness born out of need. I began looking through my Bible and jotted down some references that I thought demonstrated such boldness, and then I thought about making this a theme for a women's Bible study (that would have been one of my duties had I taken the job). I've always had a heart for music, children, and the women of the church. It was kind of an exciting thought to have a chance to do something with that, but I digress.
The point being that, for me, I think I'll have the boldness to do all of these things I'm having difficulty with once I really understand that it's a need I have that must be met. Whew!
I know I should be writing a poignant post about today being September 11th, but I don't have it in me. United, we stand. To me, that comma is crucial to that statement being true about our nation. I don't know that we necessarily stand united on anything other than we all want what we (as individuals) think is best for our country. And thinking of that makes me sad.
But today, I don't have to think on that because I believe it's safe for me to say that we are united in lifting up those who have suffered so much because of what happened on this day nine years ago. When we remember that we are all people who feel and hurt, that is when we are united at our best. Humanity is the greatest common denominator. We should practice behaving like that is true every day, not just on days forever tarnished by tragedy.
I apologize for writing like a textbook. It's not my intent to insult your intelligence by thinking you don't know which sentences are most important. It's just that I want to communicate to you that I think those sentences are most important. That's all.
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