Anxious

Yeah, I am. A little.

I have a lot more acute tension in my upper back and shoulders this morning. Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I could not get my brain to shut up about everything I still have to do to be ready for grad school auditions. I'm beginning to feel the lack of two very significant resources: time and money-- apparently in my upper back and shoulders.

I was lying there in bed, the thoughts just whirring through my mind, and I started feeling that tightness in my chest and the beginnings of the overwhelming "omygoshI'mgonnadie" that accompanies panic attacks, so I had to get up for a minute before crawling back in bed.

When I finally did get to sleep, I started having bad dreams about going back to school. It was just the usual stuff: not being prepared for exams; realizing I was enrolled in a class I'd never attended; mid-term grades with averages between 61 and 71 (except my choir and voice classes with averages of 98).

Last night's not the first night I've had those kind of school-related dreams.

I've got to get over this. Today. I have a voice lesson (for which I haven't done any prep work).

Thankfully, Russell Brand, candy corn, and yoga offer some help against the anxiety.

Thank you, God, for small favors. May I never cease to see them and appreciate them.