Traditions

1. Midnight Mass at Holy Spirit Catholic Church, Tuscaloosa, and Christmas breakfast after at Waffle House.
Jacob calculated that this makes year seven of what is one of my favorite events of the holiday season. There are four of us that, even though we rarely-to-never see each other during the year, can count on seeing each other at mass and sharing a meal after.

2. Harry Potter Christmas wishes to/from my Thither.
So long as I live, I want this to happen every Christmas morning. I love you, Amy Lea. One year, I'll surprise you with a sweater. And maybe even a Rupert Grint inside it.

3. Snowman Lindor Truffles
Mom and I have a tendency to stock up on these seasonal chocolate delectables because they are without question the best truffles Lindt has to offer. Creamy milk chocolate with an even creamier white filling. I am weird and like them refrigerated (which is apparently the worst thing you can do to chocolate).

4. Falling asleep to whatever is on TV.
Today's programming includes "Oceans Blue."

5. Microwave Peanut Brittle
I make it every year, and I haven't made nearly enough this year. I may make some more later tonight, but if not tonight, definitely tomorrow.


They're not great or grand, but they're mine. I miss many of the traditions of my childhood, but life changes, one grows up, and some things just aren't possible. For now, anyway. I hope to reincarnate many of those traditions when I have children of my own.

*le sigh*

Pictures of Christmas morning to come later.

OK

Also, O.K., okay.

---

Origin:
initials of a facetious folk phonetic spelling, e.g., oll or orl korrect representing all correct, first attested in Boston, Massachusetts, in 1839, then used in 1840 by Democrat partisans of Martin Van Buren during his election campaign, who allegedly named their organization, the O.K. Club, in allusion to the initials of Old Kinderhook, Van Buren's nickname, derived from his birthplace Kinderhook, New York

—Usage note
Few Americanisms have been more successful than ok, which survived the political campaign of 1840 that fostered it, quickly lost its political significance, and went on to develop use as a verb, adverb, noun, and interjection. The expression was well known in England by the 1880s. Today ok has achieved worldwide recognition and use. It occurs in all but the most formal speech and writing.

Hmm. Who knew?

–adjective

1.

all right; proceeding normally; satisfactory or under control: Things are OK at the moment.

2.

correct, permissible, or acceptable; meeting standards: Is this suit OK to wear to a formal party?

3.

doing well or in good health; managing adequately: She's been OK since the operation.

4.

adequate but unexceptional or unremarkable; tolerable: The job they did was OK, nothing more.

I didn't realize my bra was twisted till we were recovering the store

If I'd slit my wrists at work tonight, I would have bled music snobbery.

Tonight's In Store Play consisted of:
Órla Fallon's Celtic Christmas
Il Divo
Jackie Evancho
The Canadian Tenors
Susan Boyle
and too many cheese-tastic renditions of "Hallelujah," "Panis Angelicus," "The Prayer," "O Holy Night," and the Prayer of St. Francis.

Guess it's a good thing I have a rather strong will to live. Had I not, the snobbery mess on the floor would have been atrocious and difficult to clean up.

[waves as she passes]
Hello--Oh. Goodbye, Deep End. I've just gone off you.


Thankfully, there's a Brooklyn here to cushion my fall.

Eh he!

Sometimes I have to ask myself stupid questions

"Kate, if trying to keep everybody else happy doesn't make you happy, why are you doing it?"

I think I need therapy.

I know I need Jesus.

♥

Robert Frost

"A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity."

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/r/robert_frost.html#ixzz17q2xgk1E

They just don't make 'em like that anymore. ;-)

Quarter-life Crisis

Today a couple of customers, a guy and a girl, were discussing the girl's premature mid-life crisis and trying to decide the appropriate term for it.

Doesn't matter to me what she calls it. All I know is that I can relate.

I'm pretty sure it's just because I'm tired. And maybe dissatisfied with the current state of my life.

Car's a mess. Bedroom's a mess. I'm a mess. I've been sleeping on the couch for a couple of months now and can't seem to get a spare moment to take care of it.

I reach this point at least once every year: something's gotta give.

*le sigh*

I hope to one day believe that when I agree to do things for people that they are not doing me a favor, but that I, in fact, am doing them a favor.
[Because most of the time, it's actually true.]
It's why I can't stay in Tuscaloosa much longer. I'm established here as a "jack of all trades," and if anybody needs something done, and done fairly well, they can count on me. Trouble is, it's not all what I want to do, and I'm too much of a helper to say "No" most of the time. I can't help helping. I also am too preoccupied with finances. But I may have to give something up after the holidays, depending on my mental state.
I don't want to feel like the way I've felt today ever again.


Sometimes I have to cater to the fairytale heroine that dwells within me and pretend I can't handle a schedule this cramped because a spirit this big needs room to stretch and grow-- not to mention breathe.

Before I go to jobs 2 and 3 out of 6...

"Can the confidence that comes with age make you feel sexier? We're going to give you some tips on how to feel sexy no matter what your age."

On The Early Show??

Call me Old Fashioned, but doesn't that seem... odd... to anybody else? I get that it's Saturday, but shouldn't you still be discussing holiday recipes and how to save this season and ways to spend quality-if-not-necessarily-quantity time with your kids at this time of year in an age where busyness runs rampant?

Silly rant, I know, but I still feel it warranted a run-on sentence.

The monster downstairs

Aside from dancing to King's Singers CDs and eating popsicles after lunch, a good portion of my days this week has been spent hiding upstairs with Momo from the monster who likes to visit the downstairs of her grandma's house. When we're playing pretend regarding the monster, the only real rule of the game is that we can't go downstairs, but of course we have to take precautions against this bad guy monster. Like an address label on my right sleeve (she's found them and stuck them anywhere she can find) or a Dixie cup over my finger(s). She doesn't have to do all of these silly things, though, and here's why:


"You look so pretty the monster wants to eat you. Monsters like pretty stuff to eat. That's why. They like to eat popsicles... They like to eat you..."


When I was playing with her this morning, her grandmother was still at home getting ready for a luncheon she and Momo went to this afternoon, and she overheard. We both had a good chuckle at Momo's logic. Ü

This little princess from Japan has made my week, and I get to play with her again next week.

Overheard at Opening Night of The Nutcracker

I'm in one of the dressing rooms playing mommy to two of my favorite darlings who are in The Nutcracker this year, surrounded by approximately 30 tiny dancers and their mamas fussing over each others' hair and make-up. I'm waiting on one of my girls to get her *ahem* in gear when I hear this:

"You're not old enough to have a boyfriend! How old are you, ten?"

At this point, the ten-year-old lists off all of the li'l boyfriends she's had throughout elementary school, and then proudly states that her current boyfriend is twelve.

Then, the older dancer smirks and retorts with, "Well, my boyfriend can drive."

...WHOA!

Haha!

I'm sure you'll all be shocked to know that I was never that little girl who had scads of boyfriends in elementary school. [sniffs and pushes glasses higher onto nose]

A Few Items

Item 1: Swen's rice knows how to reheat in the microwave. Nom nom nom...

Item 2: I've been learning a few things Japanese from a 4-year-old this week. I learned how to make an origami bow and a heart, and my little friend made some stars, but never got around to showing me how to make them. She did tell me what they're called though. Shuriken. I just did a little research to find the characters ( 手裏剣 ), and they're not just any stars.

They're ninja stars.

Like the weapons.

She's pretty bad A. Remind me to talk more about her when I have more time to procrasinate. ;)
For now, I'm going to try to include a recording I made of her singing in the car today.

[Update 1:18 AM-- Here's the link to my fb playlist. The other two are from my senior recital. Not nearly as cute.
http://music.burst-dev.com/playlist.php?id=NTg5MDE0MDAtMTI5MTE4Nzg2MQ==]

Item 3: My best friends are pretty genius.

Item 4: I have a cannolo with my name on it and an episode of Glee to watch while I make the finishing touches on grad school applications.


Hey, End of the Tunnel? I think I've found your light.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH!!

I AM A CRACKEN FROM THE SEA!

Nameless

I'm calling you out, but I'm not using your name.

You're welcome.

I'm over it. Grow up, learn to manage your own damn money because you can't have anymore of mine.

I'm perfectly capable of stressing myself out without your assistance.

Do I mean it? Yes.

Will I actually follow through?

Probably not.

Because apparently I'm a glutton for punishment.

Today's a Threefer

"Souls are what make people hug-able."

~RWH

I'm gonna publish a book of Richard quotes. He's the hipster C.S. Lewis.

"You could be an absolute bean pole and hugely hug-able."

Monday, Monday

Ba daa, ba da da da...

Monday has become my new Saturday. It's the one day a week I usually have off from work now. I get my 8+ hours of sleep, I wake up and I sit. After running around for the past 6 days, my feet appreciate the act. Or lack thereof...

And my heart and soul appreciate the Ally McBeal.

Renee (after listing a few of Ally's...er, idiosyncrasies): "You're a WACKO!"

"And I like it."


"...Now, we know the seed of all this crap...this has gone on long enough."

"Renee, even if I get past all my problems, I'm just gonna go out and get new ones.
I like being a mess.
It's who I am."

In a very unusual way...

...I'm in love with this song.



And I'm kind of in love with how she sings it.

Schroeder introduced me to this song a couple weeks ago.

Methinks I need to add it to my repertoire.

Mayhaps we should even give Nine a second (third? fourth? tenth?) try, MolPage?

See also: My homegirl

*le sigh*

Because I'm at work...

Because I'm at work, I don't really have time to be posting this, but with the 3½ minutes I have left of my lunch, I would like to share nonetheless:

https://necessaryletters.wordpress.com/2010/11/20/nelewriwe-day-6-to-the-unintentionally-ironic-book-misplacer/

If you've ever worked in retail, you'll appreciate it.

Plus Robin's pretty stinkin' funny. You should just check out the rest of her witty letters anywho.

A complaint (in 2 parts) and a joy on a rainy day

Complaint, Part I
Teenyboppers who take magazines from the front of the store and read them in the Kids' section in the back of the store and leave them there are really annoying.
Complaint, Part II
Teenyboppers who think they are old enough to read this in the Kids' Department?

You are neither being cute nor ironic. Just put the magazines away and pick up a book from the Dr. Seuss spinner close to where you were sitting. That's more age appropriate for you and the young children who frequent our store. I'm actually more distraught than annoyed when I pick up this after we've closed.

A Joy

O. My. Stars. This made my day. Kinda like when David went to the dentist.

http://www.urlesque.com/2010/11/11/baby-dances-florence-and-the-machine/

Special thanks to Florence + The Machine and the "patient mom" for making this video possible, and to MolPage for sharing it with us.

Too much TV

"You know as well as I do Morning Butt and Evening Butt are two completely different butts."
~Lorelai Gilmore

She's right, you know. And that quote is verbatim--I mean, it's perfect word for word.

Ya know how I know?

I used our new DVR to rewind and make sure.

They put it in yesterday, and while I feel like it's another unnecessary expenditure on our part, it's totally cool. I'm testing it out by recording Clueless.

Side note: The commercial for ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas (which is decidedly longer than 25 days this year... hmmm...) includes snippets from Beauty and the Beast because they're apparently airing it to kick off said more-than-25 days. Of course, they show the one where Belle throws a snowball at Beast and chuckles. Now, it's been a while *coughcoughoverfiveyearscough* since I've watched the film, but I do not believe Belle audibly chuckled.

In this commercial, she totally does, and the voice's laughter is not the melodious tinkling of bells (wa wa waaa...) that is Paige O'Hara.

I do not approve.

TGIF

All is right in the world this early Friday morning.

The UPS man brought my complete series of Ally McBeal while I was at work, and it was waiting for me on the kitchen table when I got home.

I also found some nachos from Taco Bell that apparently Momma got after work, and then didn't eat. Since they were on the island, I figured they were fair game. If not, oh well!

After a not-so-good day Wednesday, and an okay (however productive) day yesterday, I like the looks of today.

Just think what it'll look like after I get some Zzz's!

"Freed spiriting is the bestest."

Thank you, Richard Wilson Hébert. Ü

"I wanna do it again, Jessie."

I should have told y'all about this Sunday after-the-fact, or at least yesterday, but I didn't. Can't explain it, just didn't.

Sunday after church, I had the distinct and sincere pleasure of dressing up as Jessie from Toy Story for Molly's best friend's daughter's birthday party. I met Mols at her apartment, and we rode together to Birmingham for the party. The house sits just off the road kind of at the center of an intersection, and it's situated in such a way that, normally, when you're coming from the direction we were, you can essentially drive straight through the traffic light and into the driveway; however, that particular plan was foiled by the horse trailer in the driveway.

Yes, there was a horse and a pony.

So, we did a little turn-around to get to the other entrance to the driveway, and then went inside, being sure that Birthday Girl (very important to distinguish her from your ordinary, garden-variety birthday girl) wasn't around to see me before I got into costume. Then, with Birthday Mom's permission, I head outside with Mols as my escort. She points out Birthday Girl, who is currently riding her steed, and as I'm coming down the deck steps, B-day Mom gets B-day Girl's attention, and I give a little "Yodel-ay-ee-oooooo!" a la Joan Cusack.

Thus was the beginning of a totally wonderful afternoon and evening.

I sauntered over to meet Birthday Girl and kept saying, "It's you! It's you! You're the birthday girl!" (I'd done my homework before meeting Molly) complete with appropriate Jessie hand gestures.

Birthday Girl had to take one more lap around their (frakkin' awesome!) backyard before jumping down to let me play with her. Once she did, though, she grabbed my hand and led me to her playground (yes, a full-fledged playground in the backyard!) where she proceeded to run from me ("Aren't you going to chase me, Jessie?").
The other children there took a little bit longer to warm up to me than Birthday Girl, but once they did, they got in on the chase as well.

I was eventually saved by a final pony ride before they had to go home. When I called her "cowgirl" as she was riding, she looked at me with a very serious face and said, "I not a cowgirl, I'm the Birthday Girl!"

Then it was time for cake, ice cream, and presents, and after all that, it was dark and we all headed inside. We sat at the table and chit-chatted about my beau, Buzz, Woody and the gang, and then she opened up one more present from her grandparents: a Jessie doll with pull-string. Birthday Girl's reaction?

"It's YOU, Jessie!"

Ü

The picture at the top was taken toward the end of the evening before it was time for her to take her bath (and after she'd opened the present of the night). Of course, after the first time I'd been her personal jumperoo, she looked up at me smiling and said, "I wanna do it again, Jessie."

So we did, but then it was time for her bath and bed. We said our "good-byes," and Birthday Mom whisked her away.

Once the coast was clear, I ducked into the bathroom and put on my civilian attire (my clothes, glasses, and hair down). When Molly and I were about the leave, Birthday Dad told us to stick around and see if she recognized me. We hid the cowgirl boots and such by the front door, and when Birthday Girl came out with her wet hair and 'jamas, she looked at me kinda funny, but Molly "headed her off at the pass," and said, "Birthday Girl, have you met my friend Kate?"

Birthday Girl looks at me again and says, "Hi Kate. Do you want some cake?"

So we sat and visited with the Birthday family for about an hour, acting as if I'd just arrived, and they told me allllll about Jessie coming to the party.

It was absolutely delightful.

I also met a handful of Molly's other friends, and we had a rather in depth conversation with one about quitting life and auditioning at Disney World, or maybe a cruise line.
I had SO. MUCH. FUN Sunday night.

And I wanna do it again.

P.S.

I don't have to work today.

I am staying home ALL day.

I'm staying in my pj's ALL day.

I have laundry and grad school apps in front of me, and Avatar is on HBO.

It's a good day.

I love toaster waffles

I really do. They're a fantastic way to break your fast. The prep work is minimal, but the reward of the taste and satisfaction from consuming them is great indeed. Toaster waffles ftw.

Ugly Betty reruns on TV Guide also ftw.

"When you are passionate, you can do anything." ~Papi Suarez

It's exactly what I needed today.
In this episode, Betty is applying for the Young Editors In Training Initiative (YETI, baha), and only has a few days to do it. The assignment is to create the design for a magazine that reflects who you are, and a day before her interview, she scraps her fashion magazine in the name of being true to herself and creating the kind of magazine of which she'd really like to be Editor in Chief.

I have exactly 2 weeks to get my songs for grad school auditions learned. I need to e-mail professors to write letters of recommendation about 3 weeks ago, and I need to send transcripts about 4 weeks ago.

My deadline: December 1st
The task: Daunting
My ambition: Hanging by a thread
My supporters: Loud and numerous
# of Toaster Waffles left: 6 (Which translates into 3 more days of the breakfast that gives back)

I got this.

But I better get to the grocery store!

Kate, why don'tcha enjoy a few more bites of crème brûlée ice cream before closing your eyes to the world for a minute or 60...

Which translates into "finish the half-a-pint of Ben & Jerry's that was left before collapsing into a sugar-induced coma."

i love you, best friend
more than you can imagine
now and for always

And I'm not talking about the ice cream (this time).


There were so many MMDAs handed out in my mind today. Two handsome little boys from my past who aren't so little anymore, an adorable couple that remind me of characters from The Boys Next Door, and the lady whose heart I reportedly blessed received theirs in the music department at B&N today. Richard got his at approximately 19:41 fb time when he sent a keenly discerning chat message.

My Toms have saved my life at work this week, I incurred an injury to my right middle finger while catering to my OCD tendencies by centering the CD openers on the access fix--it's got a cut with a lovely greenish-blue bruise around it--and I'm really, really tired.

I need to reclaim my life at some point. It's run away from me again.

Next time it does, I'd much prefer it take me with it.

"Take care o' me roses..."

Before I get sentimental, lemme play "ketchup."

In honor of the Halloween weekend, I wanted to share a couple things.

1) Saturday's MMDA went to the two little girls who came into B&N with the greatest names and costumes ever.
Big sister, Lily, was Darth Vader.
Little sister, Lucy, was the Chesire Cat. And she was the fuzziest, pinkest, and purplest stripey Godluvit I've EVER seen.

If I hadn't been "on duty," and it wouldn't have been seriously creepy, I would have taken pictures of them.

2) http://www.cockeyed.com/incredible/fandango/fandango1.php
This was on the Page-a-Day Calendar at work on Thursday.

On the site, he goes into detail and gives step-by-step instructions and pictures on how he made the costume, but here's the finished, prize-winning product.





I thought that was pretty stinkin' groovy, especially since I was sans Halloween costume this year. Well, with the exception of my Secret Garden costume, which I did wear on Halloween, since we closed yesterday.

It was probably my favorite "last show" experience thus far. It was probably my best overall performance for the whole run, so I was glad to end on a high note (Wah wah waaaah...).

It was probably filled with some of the most beautiful people I'll ever have the pleasure of collaborating with in my life.

Our director, as those of you who've been following a while know, is a member of the church I attend, and he's also a brilliant artist. The sermon series for the past couple of months has been a study of the Lord's Prayer text, and each week there has been an offering from several of the artists in our congregation that corresponds with the portion of the text we're studying that day. Yesterday the altar was decorated with his painting of a single rose to go along with the text "...on Earth as it is in Heaven." There's an insert in the church bulletin with descriptions of the artwork from each of the contributing artists, and his said this:

The Rose: A pure and simple expression of God's love to the world. Mysterious and beautiful, it has become a powerful symbol of love one for another.

I painted this solitary, unadorned rose a few years ago in the springtime. At the time, it was intended as a personal prayer for peace and understanding and was inspired by the beauty in bloom right there in my back yard.

As an artist, I had long wondered about the nature of beauty; beauty's meaning and beauty's true value to the world. Why was beauty so important to us all? Considering God's work on display in the view from my studio, I came to the conclusion that, for me, a flower's "true" reason d'ȇtre must be His promise of forgiveness and rebirth. This unadorned rose could be my only statement.

—Paul Looney

It's a painting of light pinkish-peach rose, which, aside from being my very favorite color rose, is also the color of the roses I planned on getting to pass out before the last show to those who helped to make the show as lovely as it was. For those of you who don't know, I have a particular interest in flower meanings. Pink roses say "thank you," and those with a peach hue express "sincere gratitude." When I saw that painting at church, and read Paul's words, I had one of those "where I'm supposed to be" moments. At that moment, it was all so wonderful and perfect.
I'd be lying if I said that every moment of this rehearsal process was wonderful and perfect; they were not. The 8 weeks leading up to yesterday's performance were fraught with frustration and anxiety and summoning forth all the patience we could muster to make this show as gorgeous as we all thought it deserved to be. And through the toil, we did; amidst the strife, we were able to cull the beautiful moments and bring them to life.

"You clear away the dead parts so the tender buds can form, loosen up the earth, and let the roots get warm..."

The show is all about finding the beauty within the pain and the hurt, and the show is all about that rose; it's all about rebirth and forgiveness.

Life is all about that rose, too.

We can't cut ourselves off from the pain and the suffering, and we especially can't cut ourselves off from the relationships that sometimes prove to be the sources of that pain and suffering.

I have always tried to keep the relationships I have at the forefront in my life; sometimes I succeed, and sometimes I fail, but it must be said that they are the roses of my life; the people whom God has graciously presented to me and my story are the beauty, and I ask God to take care of them, and to help me to do the same.

♥

Today's Made My Day Awards (or the "MMDAs") go to...

(Graciously yet unknowingly stolen from a fellow blogger, Jeff Brame. If you ever stumble upon this...
Thanks, man!)

*Ahem* The envelope, please...


1. The kid who comes into B&N and listens to "She Bangs" on the Red Dot; wait, did I say listens? I meant sings at the tops of his lungs. And by sing, I mean it's more like sprechstimme.
"She looks like a FLOWER and she stings like a BEE..." (He's got killer consonants.)
Thanks for throwing caution to the wind and letting your strangeness be known throughout the store--repeatedly.

2. Schroeder for telling me how "H" is a spirit.
And for being pretty stinkin' great.
I kinda like you.
A lot.

3. Lawson Daves for accepting my marriage proposal (and for helping me with my Italian translation).

4. Molly Page for, ya know, being you.

5. Pips for the potential Potter Party pep and paroxysm!!

6. Zacc Kimbrell for resting your head on my shoulder.

7. Tara Cochran for being beautiful.

8. B&N for categorizing the Twilight movies as "Thriller/Horror."
I agree; they're so bad, it's scary.

9. Favorite Manager for discussing with me how absolutely awful the new Juice Newton Duets: Friends & Memories with Friends CD is, but for singing along to smash hits such as "Take It To The Limit" anyway.

10. Richard Hébert for being my sunshine (and putting my picture on his wall). You've made me famous.

"One time I looked at a diamond, and it gave me a sunburn."

Marcel, I can totally relate.

If you've never met Marcel, you need to do so.
He's a shell. With shoes on. XD
And he makes my heart smile.




P.S. Has anybody else seen the Gain Ad on facebook?
"Gain's search for the scent of America!"
And for Alabama they suggest first, not the Alabama peaches, but (drum roll, please...) bacon.


BACON.


Um, excuse me? If you're going to allude to the fact that our state is the second-most obese state in the nation (Thank the good Lord we can always count on Mississippi), please get it right.

Two words: FRIED. CHICKEN.

O_O

I just spent the past approximately 12 minutes typing out my schedule for the rest of the month to one of my employers, and I think I'm going to need lots of prayers, peace & pasta to make it out alive.

Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiles to go before we sleep. MILES.

More to come when I don't have so stinkin' much to do.

Update: 11:12 pm

where does the time go?
how will i get it all done?
the present knows not.

I feel a bit like I'm spinning, and I've got to stop and regain control before I can be really effective in all that I have to do.


Heavenly Father, I'm asking you for a tangible boost because I know I can't manufacture the energy and motivation to calm my personal self and focus on what I have to do for li'l ole, individual me on my own (How's that for a self-centered, run-on sentence?).

You've given me amazing people to encourage and guide me, but I can't do this for them. And truthfully, I can't do this for me either. I've got to do it because it's what YOU want for me.

This is what you want for me, right?

Okay. I'm listening.

My Tattoo

Okay, before anybody starts freaking out and thinking, "Omahgosh, Kate got a tattoo?!"

No, I did not get a tattoo.

BUT, if I ever lose my mind and get one, this is what I want:

חֶפְצִי־בָּה

It's the Hebrew word hephzibah which means "my delight is in her."

And I want it on my foot.

Which is why I'll probably never get my tattoo, because it would hurt like the dickens.

Anxious

Yeah, I am. A little.

I have a lot more acute tension in my upper back and shoulders this morning. Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I could not get my brain to shut up about everything I still have to do to be ready for grad school auditions. I'm beginning to feel the lack of two very significant resources: time and money-- apparently in my upper back and shoulders.

I was lying there in bed, the thoughts just whirring through my mind, and I started feeling that tightness in my chest and the beginnings of the overwhelming "omygoshI'mgonnadie" that accompanies panic attacks, so I had to get up for a minute before crawling back in bed.

When I finally did get to sleep, I started having bad dreams about going back to school. It was just the usual stuff: not being prepared for exams; realizing I was enrolled in a class I'd never attended; mid-term grades with averages between 61 and 71 (except my choir and voice classes with averages of 98).

Last night's not the first night I've had those kind of school-related dreams.

I've got to get over this. Today. I have a voice lesson (for which I haven't done any prep work).

Thankfully, Russell Brand, candy corn, and yoga offer some help against the anxiety.

Thank you, God, for small favors. May I never cease to see them and appreciate them.

Right here in River City

Trouble, thy name is Boy.
Spent the entire afternoon with Schroeder. I feel a bit like Ogie from Waitress, but I guess I'll get over it.

silent sweet nothings
silky dark hair and blue eyes
i am in trouble

I'm in deep smit.

Trouble, thy name is also Busyness.

I should be in bed right now. I'm getting up early and taking a day trip to Mobile to get my Karen. I am so excited to see her!!

And Richard comes home Wednesday night for a long weekend.

I'm not going to get ANYTHING done this week...

Which is not good, because I'm already behind as it is.

Capital T, my friends...

Which rhymes with "P,"
and that stands for "pool."

Homesick: A Haiku

childhood memories
the familiar fragrances
i want to go home

Facebook stalking my cousins makes me homesick.

I'm still perusing the three albums of pictures Megan posted from Artprize 2010, but I had to pause and post when I came across these pictures (lovingly stolen from one of said albums).








www.missacoffman.com

Go check her out. Be sure to read her artist statements.



And be prepared for more haikus from me. Ü



♡

Orange

Being an Alabama fan necessitates that I (at least) dislike the color, although unadulterated hatred is more acceptable.

Being a red head also dictates that I should not be partial to this color (Or pastels. Or pink. We'll discuss my love for those another time...). It does not look good on me, despite the argument that it "matches" my auburn locks.

And for the most part, it's true. I don't like the color orange (Sorry, Nenna...).


So, could someone please explain to me why my diet this week has consisted primarily of eating orange?

Goldfish crackers, vanilla sugar wafers, carrots, and passion fruit juice.

That's pretty much all I want to eat.

(With the exception of Chick-fil-A. There's always room for Polynesian sauce in my diet.)


Ah, well. Dragonheart is on, and Sir Sean Connery and Dennis Quaid take precedence over a silly blog post.

Back to the kitchen for more carrots!

I miss you...

Mamaw
Richard Wilson Hebert
Karen Christine Killion
Lindsey Wade
Dan, Jana, Micah, and Alana Hillen
Lori Ann, Jenna Lyn, and Megan Elizabeth
Ava Kelley
Jacob Smith
Katie Hicks
LJ Allen

I'm SO stinkin' glad I have you here...

Molly Page
Amy Lea
James Seay & Mabs Nolen
Schroeder
Brooklyn & Heidi
Papaw
Momma


I am sickly today, but still trying to practice a grateful attitude reflective of this truly, truly grateful heart.

Lovin' life

We have a brand new DQ on our end of town. It opened Wednesday, and I have been there once a day since. Nice thing to help offset the calorie intake? I got my corset for the show last night. (Let the games begin.) The general response to Kate-in-corset went a little something like this:

"Whoa! Nice rack!" ~Herr Direktor

"It's like breasts on the half shell." ~der Musikdirektor

Then the random bottom-related quote for the evening:

"I know you hear this all the time, but I need to measure your ass." ~The Tech Director

I would explain, but I think the ambiguity is MUCH more fun. ;)
(Sorry for the li'l bit of vulgarity, younger eyes. 'Tis a part of the biz.)

Spent today with Momma running errands and such, which was nice. Got a free meal and sunglasses plus the time catching up with her.

This weekend is gonna be *ballin'*! I have rehearsal tonight, then I meet up with people to listen to my favorite local band play, and then midnight dollar sushi after.

Have I mentioned that one of those people is a boy?
No?
Well, one of those people is a boy.

Actually, more than one of those people are boys, but there's one boy that's special because I like him. Like, LIKE-like him.
From here on out, liked boy shall be referred to as Schroeder.

But, I digress. Back to this weekend!

Tomorrow, I work till 4:00, and then I get to go to the game with Schroeder and friends.
Sunday looks a little something like this: Church, meeting, rehearsal, work, crash.

Then it's a brand new week with all kinds of possibilities for adventure and mayhem.

Just the way I like it. :)

".....WwWwWoOoOOoWwWwWw......"

Sometimes (most of the time, actually), Molly says it best.

She also said this the other night: "It could've been you, homo!"

I wub her so much. XD

And now I'm spending time with my sister, whom I have missed beyond words. I'm so glad to have her back. :)

I don't know if one person is allowed to have this much good going on in her life at one time, but I'm certainly going to continue to push the envelope.

I know, I'm being terribly vague, but all will be revealed.

Right now I'm just enjoying it all.

"Uncharted"

No words,
My tears won't make any room for more,
And it don't hurt like anything I've ever felt before, this is
No broken heart,
No familiar scars,
This territory goes uncharted...

Just me, in a room sunk down in a house in a town, and I
Don't breathe, no I never meant to let it get away from me
Now, too much to hold, everybody has to get their hands on gold,
And I want uncharted.
Stuck under the ceiling I made, I can't help but feeling...

I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how
To get started, it's all uncharted...

La la la-la-a-a-a.
Oh-h-h.

Each day, countin' up the minutes till I get alone, 'cause I can't stay
In the middle of it all, it's nobody's fault, but I'm
So lonely,
Never knew how much I didn't know,
Oh, everything is uncharted.
I know I'm getting nowhere, when I only sit and stare like...

I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how
To get started, it's all uncharted.

Jump start my kaleidoscope heart,
Love to watch the colors fade,
They may not make sense,
But they sure as hell made me.

I won't go as a passenger, no,
Waiting for the road to be laid
Though I may be going down,
I'm taking flame over burning out...

Compare where you are to where you want to be, and you'll get nowhere.

I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how
To get started
Oh-h
I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out of foolproof ideas, so don't ask me how
To get started, it's all uncharted...

La la la-a-a-a




This is SO my jam.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Wikipedia's article on Alice in Wonderland actually offers some fairly clever solutions, but that really has very little to do with this post.

I don't know much about ravens or true-to-form writing desks, but I do know I sure love my new-to-me computer desk.

Yes, it has that novelty quality that accompanies anything new, but it's also useful and is something I have been wanting for a long time. That last reason is strong enough for me to love this desk.
It's also helping to turn my room into my personal space again; a place I can enjoy spending time, now that I have time to spend in it.

The cable in my room is on the fritz (only channels 6, 21, and 34 come through, and none them are entertaining in the slightest), which would typically make my experience in here less enjoyable (10:00 is Gilmore Girls time on ABC Family), but here it is 10:02, and I don't mind that I'm missing the antics of Lorelai & Rory.

Okay, so I don' t mind because I went into the living room, stole the DVD player and hooked it up in here so that I could watch season one of Alias and the stack of movie musicals on my dresser, but what's it to ya?


Anywho, the past week-ish has been kind of wonderful; approximately 10 days in a row of pure goodness for me.

How has it been for you?

My kryptonite

Fruit snacks
Veggie straws
Stationary, pens, and all manner of office supplies
Playlists
Live music
Rice Krispy treats
Doing something--anything--that matters to someone else
60% off DVDs
Diet Coke
Singing in front of an audience
Gilbert Blythe
You

(Just to name a few.)

Ironic, isn't it?

"We are never half so interesting when we have learned that language is given us to enable us to conceal our thoughts."

Sometimes it's two steps forward, and one step back

The Publix California rolls are still quite tasty, but I forgot to grab chopsticks, and sushi is just not the same with a fork.

I'm eating dinner before rehearsal (The Dreamers, a.k.a. ghosts, are waltzing tonight. It'll be like the Haunted Mansion at Shelton tonight!), and as I reflect on the day, it has been so delightful and productive. Granted, I've been up since about 5:20, so there's been copious amounts of time to get things done, but I feel absolutely refreshed, oddly enough.

I had to take Mom in for her nerve block at 6:00 this morning, but after we got in the waiting room, she pulled out her book and gave me permission to head to Starbucks for breakfast.

Grande soy chai latte and a pumpkin scone.
Mmmm... It's that time of year again. Ü

After that, I went back to the hospital to hang out in the cafeteria with my laptop and the other goodies in my backpack, but I spent a little extra time in the car finishing enjoying my scone and listening to Kidd Kraddick. I forgot how much I like listening to them in the mornings.

When I got into the cafeteria (affectionately nicknamed "the crapeteria" at dinnertime), the hospital's WiFi worked for approximately 15.2 seconds before deciding to wig out on me. Thankfully I didn't need it for anything, but I wanted to check my e-mail and facebook and, ya know, stuff. I particularly wanted to continue reading Anne of the Island, but 'twas not to be.
I finished my planning for teaching at the Magnet School today (First day was pretty good; the kids are wonderful.), and then tried to get the wireless to work again. And again and again and again.
I finally got to check my e-mail and was about two minutes into perusing my facebook when my laptop suddenly reached critical battery (we're talking subito forte cymbal crash) and blanked out on me. Naturally.

I didn't really mind, though. I had my new Bible and Disciple Study Manual with me, so I had some quality and quantity quiet time before the traffic in the crapeteria picked up (including some rather odoriferous breakfast foods) and outpatient surgery called to tell me Momma was about ready.

It was the perfect start to the day. I think I know what I have to do now to pick myself back up, and it's very freeing.

God's slowly and gently stirring Himself inside me, and He's using so many wonderful things and, especially, people to bring me ever closer to His heart.

My neck, shoulders, and back are still tense, but it's not as painful.

The house is still a mess, but it's not an insurmountable task to clean it up.

I have, to be frank, a crap ton of work to do in terms of working toward successful graduate school auditions, but thank goodness I have the drive to do it, and the amazing people in my life who know exactly how to encourage me when I need it most.

All of this positive energy is great, but the best part of tapping into the Divine?


I feel a little more myself again.

Hope

All precious things discovered late
To those that seek them issue forth,
For Love in sequel works with Fate,
And draws the veil from hidden worth.
-TENNYSON


Ummm, that's all I've got today other than I read 7 chapters of Anne of the Island at work last night on the music dept. nook; my feet hurt, but other than that, I'm okay (with special thanks to Project Gutenberg).



LOVE

Yes, please.

"A busy evening followed. The decorations had to be removed, the dishes washed, the uneaten delicacies packed into a basket for the delectation of Charlotta the Fourth's young brothers at home. Anne would not rest until everything was in apple-pie order; after Charlotta had gone home with her plunder Anne went over the still rooms, feeling like one who trod alone some banquet hall deserted, and closed the blinds. Then she locked the door and sat down under the silver poplar to wait for Gilbert, feeling very tired but still unweariedly thinking "long, long thoughts."
"What are you thinking of, Anne?" asked Gilbert, coming down the walk. He had left his horse and buggy out at the road.
"Of Miss Lavender and Mr. Irving," answered Anne dreamily. "Isn't it beautiful to think how everything has turned out... how they have come together again after all the years of separation and misunderstanding?"
"Yes, it's beautiful," said Gilbert, looking steadily down into Anne's uplifted face, "but wouldn't it have been more beautiful still, Anne, if there had been no separation or misunderstanding... if they had come hand in hand all the way through life, with no memories behind them but those which belonged to each other?"
For a moment, Anne's heart fluttered queerly and for the first time her eyes faltered under Gilbert's gaze and a rosy flush sustained the paleness of her face. It was as if a veil that had hung before her inner consciousness had been lifted, giving to her view a revelation of unsuspected feelings and realities. Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps... perhaps... love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath.
Then the veil dropped again; but the Anne who walked up the dark lane was not quite the same Anne who had driven gaily down it the evening before. The page of girlhood had been turned, as by an unseen finger, and the page of womanhood was before her with all its charm and mystery, its pain and gladness."

Title: Unknown

Select: All, Read, None

Show:AllUnread

Subtitle: Bold

Per usual, this post is a bumpy, disjointed ride. Hold on.

I slept approximately 12 hours last night, after a succession of sleeping for about 10 hours per night (with the exception of Thursday night, which I got between 4 and 5). I know my body is trying to play catch-up for the past, say, 3 years, so I'm trying to not feel badly about it, but I kinda do. I had plans for the extra 4 hours I got this morning. Ah, well.

I've been juggling schedules, trying to get back on track with grad school applications, and trying to remember (in general; to be a child of the light; to take care of myself; to move forward... too many things to think on, apparently). I just can't seem to get a grasp on my routine yet. I'm not used to this much variety in my life, I guess. It's what happens after becoming a slave to your schedule. Now that I feel more like the "master of my own destiny," I don't know exactly what to do. Good thing I'm not really the master of my own destiny. I'd be in Trouuuuuuuuuble.

But I kind of am in trouble. I am having a difficult time stepping up and proactively seeking my destiny, and seeking what my Master has to say. It's partially because I'm afraid of what I'll hear. It's partially because I'm tired and am not diligent about using my time wisely, as I used to be.

I really want to tie in a thought I had when I was still considering the job with the Presbyterians, and to do so with style and brilliant, fluid, comprehensive writing, but I am running out of time before I have to get ready for work. Maybe I'll come back and take the time to revise this. Until then...
It came to me on the first of August. Our pastor was preaching the last of his sermon series "The Physician's Gospel," which discussed the Gospel of Luke. Something he'd said triggered a thought I had on boldness born out of need. I began looking through my Bible and jotted down some references that I thought demonstrated such boldness, and then I thought about making this a theme for a women's Bible study (that would have been one of my duties had I taken the job). I've always had a heart for music, children, and the women of the church. It was kind of an exciting thought to have a chance to do something with that, but I digress.

The point being that, for me, I think I'll have the boldness to do all of these things I'm having difficulty with once I really understand that it's a need I have that must be met. Whew!





I know I should be writing a poignant post about today being September 11th, but I don't have it in me. United, we stand. To me, that comma is crucial to that statement being true about our nation. I don't know that we necessarily stand united on anything other than we all want what we (as individuals) think is best for our country. And thinking of that makes me sad.

But today, I don't have to think on that because I believe it's safe for me to say that we are united in lifting up those who have suffered so much because of what happened on this day nine years ago. When we remember that we are all people who feel and hurt, that is when we are united at our best. Humanity is the greatest common denominator. We should practice behaving like that is true every day, not just on days forever tarnished by tragedy.

I apologize for writing like a textbook. It's not my intent to insult your intelligence by thinking you don't know which sentences are most important. It's just that I want to communicate to you that I think those sentences are most important. That's all.

Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink...

Isn't that how the saying goes? (Well, poem, actually, but that's just a technicality...)

Similarly, lots of things are going on, but I don't know precisely what to write.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/blog/2010/09/ten-important-things-ive-learned-about-blogging/

#1: Be yourself.

Mmm. Good number one.

Let's all go ponder that, shall we?


P.S. Have you seen this ad on facebook?

"Fashion Girls Needed"



[Double take]

Yeah. Yeah, I'd say so.

Joan Holloway, at your service.

Stats for the day Friday, September 3, 2010

•5 nooks sold

•7 hours on feet
•0 minutes of break
•2 feet that REALLY hurt

•1 hour 45 minutes of (rough) sing-through

•200 real copies
•approximately 190 fake copies

•1 ream of paper at $2.99 + tax
•1 (more than slightly illegal) copy of vocal score with FREE spiral binding.

Now that I've made my list, are you ready for the run-on sentences?

'Cause I am!

Okay, so the story goes like this:

I went to FedEx Office (formerly known as Kinko's) to make a copy of the vocal score for the show so that I can highlight and write in whatever medium I so please and not have to pay to replace the thing, and I'll just keep it as a memento yada yada yada... When I got through the first 75 pages of fake copies (I'd scanned the pages, and then the stinkin' machine tells me to insert my card... which was already in the machine... and I had to start all over with the scanning.), I noticed that there wasn't any paper in the copier, and I'm thinking, "Aw, man. I know the economy sucks, but really Kinko's? Really. You're gonna make me buy my own stinking ream of paper, too?" So, my grumbly butt walks over to buy said paper. I get up there, happily complain about how long I'm going to be there making copies, swipe my debit card, and one of the 3 sweethearts working the night shift asks if I need a bag for my paper.

"No, thanks, I'm about to go over there and use it."

They all look at me funny.

Sweetie #1: "What?"
"The copier was out of paper, and I just assumed..."
Sweetie #2: "We should take your picture!"
Sweetie #2 & #3: "Man, give her a refund..." "...her money back."

At this point I was really too tired to care about the $3 and some odd cents.

Sweetie #1: "What else did you need to do?"
"Take the copies I make and have them spiral bound."
#1: "Then you get that spiral binding for free."

I walked back over to the copy machine, sufficiently red in the face and ears (Yeah, they were still talking about me as I walked away), made approximately 115 more fake copies (How's my math?), and then started printing the copies I'd scanned in sets of 20, 30, and 50 till I finished the damn thing. (I apologize, all, but I'm ridiculously tired, and it's my favorite curse word.)

Despite all that, let's continue with the day's tally, shaaaaall we?

•1 nice li'l ditty of a conversation with Sweeties #2 & 3
•1 compliment on my "bubbly" personality, and 1 on my appearance (Sweetie #1 prior to the paper fiasco).

"Are you a fan of Mad Men?"

(To make all of our lives simpler, even though I've only watched partial episodes of the show)

"I am."

"Then you must get told all of the time that you..."

"...look like Joan. Yes."

Needless to say, I have new friends at FedEx/Kinko's/whatever.

"It reminds me that it's not so bad, not so bad at all..."

Tuesday night I auditioned for a production of the Secret Garden. I felt like the audition went really well, and I got to spend time with a few of my favorite people, so all-in-all it was a great night.

Yesterday morning I went to Birmingham to bring Lindsey lunch and visit with her for a bit. It was so good to see her. We got to talk for about an hour and a half, and I'm going back to the Ham tonight to see her again. :) It's the Matthew Mayfield concert on Samford University's campus tonight, and we are attending.

[Ugh. Watching Clueless... again... and Paul Rudd is made of adorable. I will love him 'til the day I die.]

Then I came home to figure out my life for the next week or so while watching "Ally in the Afternoon." I should be ashamed of the fact that I relish time to come home and watch television for 2 hours straight in the middle of the day, but I don't think I am. There are just some days I need to relate to Ally McBeal and all her crazy.

After that, I booked it to church for a meeting about the new children's worship service we are creating.

Lesson learned: Methodist moms are INSANE. This is gonna be fun, though. Working with these ladies (and the one man on the design team so far, James, the Director of Music Ministries) is going to make me keenly aware of my age and experience, though.

Then I just chilled in the choir room before rehearsal. I read a little Anne of Avonlea, talked with James a little about auditions (he tried out, too), and talked with our new music library kid about his aspirations for college before the director of the show (who is a member of our church and sings in the choir) walks in and sits down on the couches with us. He begins talking to James about the role he wants him to play, and then he comes over and sits by me.

He put his arm around me and said, "Kate, I'm just going to tell you that you are going to be a wonderful..."
Oh no, oh no, he's not going to say the name I want to hear, oh no, get ready to be let down gently, Kate, it'll be fine...

"...Lily."

And I immediately curl up into his chest and say, "Omahgah, Omahgah. Thank you!"

The night could have ended there, as far as I was concerned.

This will be the first time I get to play a dream role of mine outside of school. *coughcoughbelleinbeautyandthebeastinhighschoolcough*

I'm a big kid now, and I am so truly and unbelievably and incredibly blessed.

But the night didn't end there.

We had a great choir rehearsal, and then I went out to eat Chinese and just hang out with a few of my favorites till the wee hours--well, hour lol-- of the morn.

And this weekend has a promising look about it. :)

All of the other ''stuff" doesn't go away, but all of the good definitely helps the "stuff" lose some of its prominence in my life.

♥

My dogs are barkin'...

Settling down after working my first shift in music as well as my first time to close. Even though putting out new releases and such is a lot, it wasn't bad at all. It's just late. And in all of the hubbub to get finished and clock out, I forgot that I still had a phone on my hip.
Yep, it's sitting in my car overnight, and I'm going to have to bring it back in the morning. lol
And now I need a Tylenol PM.

I would like it known that the security camera behind the counter makes my backside look goooooood.

Today after I began shelving DVDs, the Store Manager finds me to ask the usual productivity questions and to give me the "Sell, sell, sell!" pep talk, but first, he had to let me know that if a customer approaches me and is not an appropriate customer-- like he's trying to ask me out-- to dial the M.O.D. (Manager On Duty) and to ask them to come to me, and we'll figure it out. Apparently a guy came into the store looking for me, asking for the redheaded girl, if said Manager would tell him my name because he'd like to meet me, etc.


*rolls eyes*


Really? Really...

NOLA Pictures

Some of this I'm proud of for artistic reasons. Some are just to document a few of the places we went. You get to decide which are... which...




Outside the coffee shop where we parked.
Brilliant marketing strategy.


"Walking picture" on the way to the Confederate Civil War Museum


The front

The steps out. We weren't allowed to take pictures inside, but it was nifty.
From the sampling of uniforms they had in the museum, we decided that people in the next 200 years are going to be freaking Nephilim.


Across the street from the Confederate Museum, next to the Nat'l WWII museum


Have I mentioned how much I love clouds and looking at the sky?


Altar of St. Louis Cathedral in Jackson Square


I betcha their organ is better than ours...




I. Love. Stained glass.
I didn't find any literature in the church to prove this to be true, but I'm fairly certain the windows depicted scenes from St. Louis' life. If I think of it, I'll look it up and let you know.

If you watch the news or internet headlines at all, you know that tomorrow is the five year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. I ask that you join me in sending prayers and overall good ju-ju to the city of New Orleans and all who were and are affected by the hurricane.

They've come a long way, but they still have a lot longer to go before New Orleans will have returned to it's Crescent City Glory, and I'm sure other cities on the coast affected are no different.

♥

Food, food, GLORIOUS food!

What do I do with my time off?

I eat (apparently).



I was called into work at the last minute yesterday, so we decided to postpone birthday luncheon (which ended up being just me and Papaw. Just as well, I suppose.) 'til today.
However, I did make a pretty scrumptious dinner last night, if I say so myself. Papaw thoroughly enjoyed it, too. XD


Mmmm... three cheese tortellini & turkey meatballs with cheese breadsticks (and optional cinnamon breadsticks for dessert).

Mind you, none of this was made from scratch, but it was a really good combination of the store-bought.

Voila!

Lunch today wasn't quite as pretty looking as that, but it was pretty tasty.

Boar's Head ham, chicken & Sargento Swiss on French bread.
It was delicious, be we decided to rethink the French bread in favor of a rye loaf next time.
(Molly! The good people at our Publix deli know to give samples. It made me think of you and smile.)

Now, for the strawberry shortcake!

Most of this was from scratch, starting with the sour cream biscuits (thank you, Southern Living!).

1st batch... minus the two we used for our shortcakes...

2nd batch dough

2nd batch baked

Aren't they beautiful?

Key ingredients to my ideal strawberry shortcake:
homemade whipped cream, slightly smashed strawberries with straight-up sugar, and the aforementioned yummy biscuits.

Yup, it's pretty- even in a paper bowl.

I also have a few pictures I took in NOLA this weekend that I'm kind of proud of and I'd like to share with you, but that'll be later today. I have to go learn & practice my audition piece for next week!